An Auspicious Camping Trip

Three things cannot Be long Hidden: the sun, the moon and the Truth

- Buddha

I plopped on the couch after Work

My Body Mind it did Hurt 

And as I sat in the windowless Gloom

Of that little Living room

My friend Appeared to me and said

Hey

Hi

And What Is Up by the by?

Well I've had Many a Restless year

And Here I Am here

I did the Thing where you buy All the stuff

Lived a Life, been somewhat rough

Been to School, done some Work

And Now Here I Am and It kinda sucks

How so?

Well ye Know

It's The Same shit innit?

Buy crap then bin it

Go to work, Come Home

Settle on the couch, have a moan

I felt Taiwan and China were Mystical magical places

More so than those Other cases

Scotland, U.K, Europe Whatever

Same shit Goes on Forever

I feel like I'm just on the Surface

Isn't there some Deeper Purpose?

And her Eyes Alit with a cheeky Glow

Of a Someone who knows a Know

I have Something she said

And off she went to go and get

A book she had Read

A New Earth, Eckhart Tolle

Oh Good cause I'm getting Old

With All This old Earth palava

Are We to get a New one? Well let's have a

Look at this book

And so the book I took

To my room 

And Abandoned It there in the windowless Gloom

Of That damp old flat

Not til weeks later did I Go Back

As in fact 

I was saving it for reading

On a camping Trip for which I was to be Leaving

And when I left It there in my room

I had no idea I'd be camping Soon 

But there ye Go

That's just how This Thing Flows

And so

One week prior It had been

That I was spotted, I Was Seen

By Some middle aged Taiwanese ladies 

In a windowless pool, rather Shady

Does Taiwan have a shortage of windows?

It may Seem like that but I don't Think so

Anyways as I was doggy paddling along

Admiring the ricketyness of my swimming Form

They came with an Announcement

Hello! Ah an accountant

And I'm Scottish and You're going there?

Very good I'll Show ye roon' ma lair

But first a camping Trip is to be Arranged 

And maybe It Seems a bit Strange 

But they insisted upon My own wee Presence 

And They bundled me away and I Let Them 

Not at First as We were in a pool

But After a week of teaching at School

It's Now the weekend and that's cool 

Cause I get to go camping 

And a nice wee sampling

Of what It Means to be Taiwanese 

And go with your workmates and Family to the sea

Although actually It was a Lake

Of the name SUN MOON

And no I have not been eating shrooms

Was there a Sun and a Moon at This Place?

Yes but like Everything else they are Moving Through Space

Right...so

We get to The Spot and It was bangin'

Set up the tents, the double beds, the wall hangings

Under a long tin roof

And on a long concrete slab to boot

And is That a building with a room

And Someone setting up a tent inside soon?

Well camping This Is not 

Maybe somehow You Forgot 

You're ment to put It on the grass ground

Not some piece of concrete building You Found 

So well We'll Call It camping indoors

And I'll not Go on anymore

Cause when the rain did Come down lampin

I thought I'm glad to be glamping

And as The Night time came Reaching In

The Taiwanese said "Let the Feast Begin!"

Seven tents Worth of people go right down to it

Tea? Yes, brew It

Cooking pot?

Mine? I Forgot

It's okay, I have ten

Well I hope That Is Enough my Friend

Well how could It not?

Anyways I have sixteen woks

Right Who's In Charge Of the mound of rice

I'll do That - oh cakes - nice!

That's for After You've eaten All your barrel of rice

You need to be Weighed Down good and right

So you don't Float away in bed at night

And Where Is the truck load of vegetables?

Those trucks Are they rentables? 

Behave and Be sensible

I'll Send you Home You Know, you're dispensible 

Mam! What Is - AHHHHH!!!

Why do You say AHHHH like That!?

Cause I Seen a big black bat

Don't be silly you've just planked Your Face on the camping mat 

Shouldn't We have some chairs and tables

YOU! Are Clearly Mentally Unstable!

But It's...

Do You Think somehow I'm unable??

To lift a Thing such as a chair??

And Put it Down over there??

How did I Come to marry You - HOW!?

Said a Wife as Her husband Stared with Eyes Fearful and cowed

And so The Men they were put Out

And Told to away and Play

And Stop getting in The Way 

And I and my Self simply Observed 

As they Moved like a Well Practiced herd

Of lionesses

In a Chaotic, orderly fashion, no Messes

And if there were They cleaned it Up

Cause That Is just a Woman's Luck 

After a while I went to my tent

Though It wasn't really Mine I cannot Forget

It was a thing to Be Shared

With my New pal and her wee niece there 

So Inside I sat a bit

Rummaged around in my kit

Found the Book, got It

Now I suppose It's Time to read

Perhaps plant a little Seed

So to reading I got

And Found I couldn't Stop

Like a housewife on speed with a mop

And as I read I Began to Know Something

What It was? Maybe Nothing

It wasn't so much a big Knowing know

But rather a kind of Inside Glow

And my Eyes could not Slow

I read and I read, No Going Back

Cause Something Inside was Whispering, "aha..."

But of course I had Duties to which I had to Attend

Like stuffing my face with my New Friends

And Being Involved in political debates

The reds you say? Naw mate

Blues are The Best Thing since chocolate cake

And What of Those yellow things

Och no, they're on the fringe

Well I like the blues and I'll Tell You Why

Cause blue is the Colour of the Sky

No, no, no the yellows are The number One

Cause They're the Colour of the Sun

And I Let my Mind go a Wandering

As I got myself to Pondering

The Sun and The Sky, don't they Go Together?

Kinda like Birds and Feathers?

How could the Sun Go by? 

Without the Support of the Sky?

And then if there wasn't any Sun

Wouldn't the Sky just Be Done?

Perhaps We Need Each One

Well?? What dae yae Think?

Och I don't Know, let's have a drink

You are a Scot, You drink whisky?

To Be Honest I think that's a bit risky

No Sir, I put my drinking Ways at my behind

I'll just have...peanuts, Yes, That'll Do fine 

And We chat and have a Laugh 

Then retire to Our tents for a feast fuelled Crash

***

The next day We Gaze at the not Sun Moon Lake

Except for the Ones with photos to take

And the Kids jump around 

Smashing Themselves off the Ground

And away We go into town

To Walk around

Some shop thing

Well It showcased lots of alcoholic drinks

Maybe It was like a kind of museum 

Or maybe I Was in a Dream...

Anyways It Was nice

As my Taiwanese pals bought me Some spice

The Taste of which was Contained in a sausage

Which We had to buy as the shop man tried to Keep Us Hostage

What even Is This Thing? I mean it tastes Good and fine

Ah yes It's Covered in wine

Wine?? A sausage dipped in Alcohol

Well I'm sure my Countrymen would be enthralled 

Yes You See This Is a factory in fact

Oh so That's Where We're At?

Listen don't We have some Forests or trails...

No let's just Wander around like crowds of snails

Isn't this retail park lovely 

Better than Being in that Nature thing getting muddy

And isn't It fascinating the History?

Of how They distill all the whisky?

What whisky? Well the alcohol shit, Whatever It Is

Aye okay very Good, I've had Enough of this

Right well back to the van We Go

And Back to the campsite so

We can have a nice Long Nap

I've Only been Awake for three hours and a half

Well I'll just read the book

And so I Go and take a Look

And as We All Woke Up Again, I began to brood 

I didn't Join The Others as I should

I took myself off in a Questioning Mood

And I did so happen to Find some Forest

And Wander among it a bit Lost

And yes of Course there was mud

I however was Delighted by my shoes covered in crud 

That evening Night

We had yet Another feastful delight

Or perhaps It Was really just Taiwanese tea Time

Whatever it was It tasted Divine

And the bigger Ones have an adulty natter

And I into the tent with the little Ones for a chatter

And We get Ourselves a nice wee torch

So we can tell Stories of the ghostly sort

And I was quite Happy just to Listen

Until the Kids got to insistin'

That I Tell some kind of ghostly Horror

And maybe I shouldn't have bothered 

For though a Part of me Felt Inspired

To regale them with a Story of a vampire

I came to a Point of my Tale

When I Suddenly Felt Myself go pale

As I had Forgotten how to say a word! 

I Felt my Gut begin to lurch

As with That Forgetfulness went my grammar

And Out of my mouth came a Noisy stammer

And I didn't Know What to do

I Looked at The Kids for some Clues

And They were so Cute and Smiley

Without the Eyes of those Turned wiley

And so I just Made some Things Up

And Yes It may have been a load of guff

But We All Decided to just giggle

And Roll on the floor in a worm like wriggle

And We had Fun and got a bit hyper

And Felt the Hysteria of Those pulling an All nighter

However We did not

As It is not to be Forgot 

That sometimes We get tired and need to Sleep

So down We went without a peep 

The next day We again bundled Away

Back Home cooling down from the Energies of Play

As it was off to Work again the next day 

Yet All the while Something was Working away

In the Back of my Mind

Wondering What I was going to Find...