Rediscovering my Cherokee Heart

Oh Great Spirit Who Made All Races

Look Kindly upon the Human Family and take away the arrogance and hatred which separates Us

- Cherokee Prayer

It was the Winter of 2019

I Felt I had Lost my Hopes and Dreams

Filled as I was with Inner Screams

From Where did they Come

Well I guess We could say some

Had to do with my Mum

Winter in Scotland has never really been fun

At least not for This One

Now I Felt like I just wanted to Run

I headed out One

Gloomy overcast day

The Skies and Landscape were all grey

I Felt I was Lost in a Haze

Of not really Knowing my Way

I Walked along a Path

One That 

Led Nowhere

Out in the countryside I stared

The Fields before me bare

But Beyond them over There

I Saw misty Hills

And pine Trees

And In That moment Something Came to me

Tears rolled down my cheeks

I Felt Exhausted and weak

And I Missed Home

I Felt so Alone

But Something Told me

Keep Goin'

And I Felt

A Presence I Knew well

Native American Energy

Waiting, wanting to Befriend me

It Felt like Family

It Is Encouraging to Know

Even when We Feel so low

Within This

Universal Flow

We Are never Alone

Soon after

There came a Time

When the Divine

Decided I was to Find

One we Call a Shaman

All This Time It was Plannin'

For Us to Meet

Though this Relationship 

Did not always Flow with ease

But It was Agreed

That We were to Be

Here

Now

And  somehow

We went on a Journey

I had to Travel

Through Seas that were churny

To make It to the Garden of the Soul

And when there This Is what I was Told

To Be Here Now

And One day I will Be Found

And Others will Gather Here

But First I Am to remain Clear

And so I set off to Explore

To See more

So One day I could Show Her

One Summer day in The Garden of The Soul

There Came to me an Old

Lady

I Felt maybe

This Is Meant to Be

And What was It All about?

Perhaps Now

We shall Know

It was a Message from Our Soul

And This Lady that Felt so Old

Was a Grandmother

Our

Cherokee Grandmother

From Another

Dimension

Though I didn't really Mention

The Source, The Essence

Of This Unfolding Lesson

She Came to me to Say

Everything Will Be Okay

I had been In the Way

Of Eating a lot of stuff

That was not so Good for my Gut

This Behavior was Birthed

From a Feeling of no Worth

And That I was not Good Enough

To Be Loved

But 

She Gave me a soup

Said It was Good

For The Heart

And It would Start

To Help me further Fall Apart

So I could Create This Art

I could See

She Knew what It Meant to me

I Came Here to Be Free

She Told me

I could Call Her

When I Felt Hurt

From All those holes in my Heart

That Felt black like Tar

Fall Apart

Then Fill them Up

With Your own Love

You Are

Love

That's What

She Said

What a Journey eh?

It came Time for autumn

I had not Forgotten

Grandma Cherokee

And what She said to me

Now there were Others to Meet

I Sat on the Hills and had a Good Greet (cry)

Why?

Well I

Will try

My best to Explain

I Spent my Life Living In Pain

Now It was Fadin'

Away

All Fadin'

A Way

I was no longer to Remain

A Wean (child)

They Came

Family

Uncles and Aunties

And Brothers and Sisters

Sister

I had Missed Her

For so long

Who I thought I was

Was Gone

And Now All those wrongs

Were Becoming Right

And my Heart Filled with Warmth

and Light

What does It Mean to Be

A Human Being

That Is Free?

And What Is

Woman?

I Thought

I hadn't Known but It was Curin'

All Those

bits

That Judged

And Called

Us

A Bitch

And worried about meaningless shit

And always tried to fix

Maybe In My Mind was a Glitch

As I Seen It

Had been there All along

All Throughout a torn 

Heart

And Now those holes can start

To Heal

And I Feel

Them Fill with Love

I tried to get from

My aunties and my friends

But they all went away again

When I was Searching for a Leader

My grans and teachers couldn't Meet Her

And so I'd Seek Her

In community

But Within these there was no True Unity

Because Truthfully

We were All so Lost

And Cut each Other off

Instead of

Being Real

And sometimes I'd Feel

I Missed my Mum

My Heart did Burn

Knowing That In Pain and Suffering 

We Are One

But Now I was Done

There Is no One

But I

Who can Stop The Lies

By Telling The Truth

So That Is what I Am going to do

And In That Moment I Knew

I had Become

A Woman

It Grew In

Me

Naturally

Unconfined by the Rules of Society

Though I thought I hadn't Known

It had Grown

All on It's own

All It’s Own

In This world gone shallow

Instead of Deep

I was Filled with a Feeling

Bitter-Sweet

It Seemed there was no One there to See

Except

The Spirit of The Cherokee

They Celebrate with me

Some may Find It strange

In a World of Trauma and Pain

And Social Conditioning running In Our Brain

That I had Waited until This Day

When I had already aged

And yet

Most have not made It to This Stage

Though We may

Appear to Be Grown-Ups

We Remain

Children

Needing Love

It was such

A mix of Feeling

As I Stayed there kneeling

On The Mother Earth

Knowing

The Beauty of Death and Birth

Both Come to Us

From

Love

Does It seem a strange thing to Reveal

In a society that has Forgotten

how to Feel

What It Is to have a Heart?

I Realised The Cherokee

Had been with me from The Start

And Now We can never Part

Though with physical Eyes They Remained Unseen

This Is more Real than anything I have ever Seen

Within This World 

Of God's Dream

Still to This Day

The Cherokee Remain

Ready and Waitin'

To Help Us

Heal Our Pain

As We Go wadin'

Through The Dark

And Get On That Train

To Depart

As We Walked In the Autumn Light

I and One we might

Call

A Shaman

Maybe We were havin'

Doubts

We walked along The Path Now

In a place

Not yet Ready to Face

That which Awaits

Us

When We're Ready to Trust

And In the Woods

I wasn't sure What to do

But then It was Decided

And so I Invited

Her

Into That Space of Love

And Trust

And I Told Her

About how those holes Hurt

But there were

Those Watching over Us

Offering Love

And I wanted to Burst

Into Tears

Cause I Knew They were Always Near

But though maybe She could Hear

Sometimes Fear

Can Block It out

I Told her how

It Heals

And She Revealed

Her doubts

In her Life she had Found out

That there was Something Wrong

And It Seemed that Way for so long

That she Believed

She would never See

And that She would never Heal

I Remember how It Feels

To be That Way

How Many 

Decades

Spent Investin'

In that ego mind always pestering

How long Feeling like a Wreck

In the Future What can you Expect

Maybe the Best bet

Is to try and Stay safe

Wishing It to Go a Way

But Fearing The Day

When It Does

Cause

Then Who would You Be

Without That me?

One day We shall See

If We want to Be Free?

And Be at Peace?

After All It Is how We Are meant to Be

And Always are

Even In the midst of things Falling a part

Is the Love In Our Heart

All I Wish Is to Impart

Is This Wisdom

We All Knew

From The Start

And for Us

To Understand

It Is All

A part

Of The Universal Plan

That Is

Before We Began

So Let Us not bow to the Demands

Of those with Dark agendas and Dark plans

But once again Stand

Together 

In Unity

And Remember The Truth that We

Are

One Universal Human Heart 

Beat

No Darkness shall ever Defeat

Feel the Earth

Beneath Our Feet

And Let Us Welcome

Our long awaited

Release

We Are FREE

I Am

Cherokee

ᏥᏣᎳᎩ